Moments of Idiocy
by fierysuzaku
Summary: A bunch of idiotic CRACK drabbles that may not be even funny. Features OCness and character intelligence exploitation. Characters: Dino, Tsuna, Gokudera, Yamamoto, Ryohei, Hibari, Lal. Brief mentions of Reborn and Haru as well as an OC in one drabble.


**The Two Mafia Bosses**

It was a rarity.

For them to be alone and without the constant companionship of guardians and or bodyguards.

The experience is quite refreshing.

"Say Dino-san, where's your men?" asked Tsuna curiously turning to the older mafia boss.

"Oh, I gave them all a day off. But where's your guardians?" he asked in turn as he observed the absence of Tsuna's guardians.

"Now, that you've mentioned it. I haven't seen Gokudera or Yamamoto since yesterday." Mused the young man.

"Really?" clarified the other, seeing the sheer impossibility of the thing.

"Yeah, Gokudera-kun got sick when he saw Bianchi-san so Yamamoto offered to take him home last night." Informed the other completely not noticing the disbelief coloring Dino's features.

"In fact, I tried calling to make sure he recovered but he wasn't answering." he added, eliciting a slight blush from the other who seem to see a whole new meaning behind the words.

"Have you tried Yamamoto?" asked Dino, hoping his little conclusion would be disapproved.

"Yeah, he wasn't answering as well. You think we should go check on them?" frowned Tsuna, starting to worry for his best friends.

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Tsuna." The blush was quite evident on his face as he gave off a rather nervous laugh.

"Eh?" remarked the completely oblivious boy in confusion.

"L-Look at the time, it's almost lunch you said you know an Italian restaurant nearby right?" shifted the other, cutting off any further questions of clarification.

"Yeah, it's just a few blocks." nodded the boy, still wearing a confused knit between his brows as he took in the other's strangely nervous actions.

"Let's go then, my treat!"he exclaimed, walking further ahead while he tried to abate the rising blush cause by his slightly perverted imaginings.

"Dino-san look out, there's a dead bird!" yelled out in warning Tsuna, pointing to a dead bird lying in front of Dino's path.

"Where?" he reacted, looking up to the heavens in search for the indicated _dead_ bird, only to fall flat on his face when he stepped and tripped on the dead bird.

**-end-**

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**The Boxer and The Bomber**

He had a challenge.

So he boldly went to face a certain genius in order to challenge the younger teen's vast intellect.

"HEY, OCTUPUS-HEAD!" he called out in his ever passionate voice.

"Would you quit being so fucking loud, Lawn-head! Some people are trying to read!" he snapped, slamming his book down in emphasis.

"BUT I HAVE A QUESTION, TO THE EXTREME!" the boxer yelled out, ignoring the other's really pissed off look.

"We're in a damn library! You'd think even an idiot like you could still be able to read the words, SILENCE." Gokudera seethed as he watched the older teen turn to stare at the sign.

"Oh, why didn't you say so." Ryohei said, quieting down to a certain degree.

"I just did, you imbecile." The bomber stated, venom dangerously pouring from the statement.

"Imbe – what? You gotta stop using such big words Octopus-head. Anyway, I have a question. I bet even you can't get it!" the older teen challenged with a big confident grin.

"Try me." he frowned, light jade eyes burning with fire.

"Why is 6 afraid of 7?" he said happily, grinning like a fool.

One could almost hear something snap at the words.

"Because, mush for brains, 7 _ate_ 9!" he snapped, murderous intent filling the atmosphere as his teeth gritted in extreme annoyance.

"Wow, you're right!" grinned the oblivious boxer, cutting off any chance of continuation from the bomber.

"Explain it to me." he said still grinning only to be met by silence and a series of explosions following after.

** -end- **

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**Substitution**

It was one of those random days.

The kind of days where routine gets a little disrupted. Who would have expected Gokudera Hayato and Kurokawa Hana to find something to talk about.

Although, such topics breeched were more akin to a much predicated argument between people who harbor a slight disdain towards each other thus leading to a certain conversation.

"You do know you're going to marry an idiot right?" he asked, having been requested (ordered) by the Tenth to accompany the woman make preparations for her on coming wedding with Vongola's ever loud and energetic boxer and Sun Guardian, Sasagawa Ryohei.

"Hey! He's not an idiot!" Hana snapped, automatically receiving a raised brow disbelief from a certain fiery right hand and Storm Guardian.

"He's just mentally challenged." She muttered a defensive reply making the silver haired guardian snicker in retort.

"At least I'm not GAY for a pipsqueak like Sawada!" she snapped, despite the time that passed, the Vongola Decimo – in her opinion – haven't reached the desirable height for a man at his early twenties.

"The Tenth's not SHORT!" the bomber yelled at the woman who merely copied his earlier response, not bothering to acknowledge her earlier acquisition.

"He's vertically challenged." He muttered in return.

** -end- **

**Recruitment Day**

It was Recruitment Day.

It is where aspiring hit men go when they want to be a part of the famously acclaimed Vongola Familigia.

And of course, that alone is no easy task.

Especially when you have Gokudera Hayato and Lal MIrch as the ones initiating the tests that would deem them worthy of being one of the Family.

"Okay, maggots! You really think you have what it takes to be a part of Vongola?" yelled the female, sending a majority of the men to piss themselves when they crossed her sharp gaze.

"Pathetic. You call yourselves Mafiosi when you're all shaking at a mere scold from Lal."

"Looks like we'll finish early." Sighed Lal in a voice low enough that the recruits from the other side of the river can't hear.

"Good. I have a date at seven and I don't want to be late." Said the right hand looking at his watch in emphasis.

"Haru still hounding you?" the CEDEF arcobaleno asked.

"Che, the stupid woman is getting even more demanding the usual." He frowned at the memory of the woman's erratic mood swings

"Hmph, you call yourself a right hand. You can barely stand up to your wife." Scoffed the other.

"Says the one who blushes like a tomato whenever a certain blond gets too close." He jeered in reply gaining him a glare in turn.

Both gave a relinquished sigh, knowing full well the fruitlessness of the conversation and began to return their attentions towards the group of men awaiting their instructions.

"Okay, listen up. The test is simple. Cross this river and you're in." she called out, the words men them all grin at the easiness of the task.

"But before you idiots decide to jump, I would just like to add that the river's infested with man-eating crocodiles." added Gokudera, smirking a bit when most of the men paled at the knowledge.

"You guys have 30 minutes to decide." He continued, setting an alarm to denote the end of the test.

The time ran, yet nobody dared to jump and risk getting eaten by a bunch of crocodiles. Little did they know, the said crocs were already full after being fed (plain beef of course) so their chances of surviving would be higher if they decided to jump in an earlier time since the beasts were still digesting their meals.

It was obviously one sure way of seeing through one's resolution and loyalty.

And just when the allotted was about to be spent, a splash was heard.

Someone jumped!

The man hurriedly swam, his arms reaching as far as he could since some of the larger crocs came out a bit earlier than expected.

He managed to cross the river. And not a moment too soon, the alarm rang signifying the end of the day.

"Not bad, you showed not only strength but also resolve, showing that you are worthy of being called a Vongola." congratulated Lal as he watched the young man pant, both Lal and Gokudera waited for the man to recover only to receive a reply that neither of them expect.

"I DON'T FREAKING CARE ABOUT JOINING VONGOLA ANYMORE! I CARE WHO THE FUCKING HELL PUSHED ME INTO THE DAMN RIVER!" yelled the man casting a murderous glance at the other side of the river, trying to pin who really did push him in.

No one except Lal and the Storm guardian noticed a shadow of a fedora hiding amongst the trees.

**-end-**

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**Magic**

He always knew Yamamoto was an idiot, he just didn't know that the Rain Guardian's level of intelligence have reach that low of a level.

"Oi, what the hell are you doing, baseball freak!" he called out, gaining the teen's once lost attention.

"Oh, hey Gokudera! I haven't noticed you there." he grinned, giving the bomber his signature mega watt smile that just screams 'I'm an idiot' in Gokudera's eyes.

"I asked you a question. What the hell are you doing with the damn telephone cord?" he seethed when he was met with a string of familiar laughter making him want to blow the fool before him sky high.

"Oh, this?" he clarified waving a cut telephone cord in front of the silver top who gave him a nod in reply.

"Well, Spanner was throwing out some stuff and I decided to give him a hand. When we were done, I found this thing on the floor. I was going to throw it out when –" he was about to explain when he was cut off by the Storm.

"You decided to implore your rotting mind's innate talents and play with the damn thing like a toddler." He continued for him while Yamamoto gave him another smile.

"Aw~ But look at it, it's so…" he was unable continue, obviously enthralled with the way the cord's rings uncoils when he stretches the line and how the said rings coils once more when he began returning the line to its original length. He continued doing this, completely ignoring the brewing Storm before him.

"You idiot! It's simple, it's just – " he was about to explain the rationale for the said 'phenomenon' when Yamamoto cut him off with a strange sharp look.

"STOP!" he said surprising Gokudera by the intensity of the gaze.

"You'll ruin the magic." He continued and proceeded to turn his attention back toward playing with the cord while Gokudera was too shocked to say anything at the moment.

**-end-**

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**Glowing**

"Oi, HIBARI!"

The ex-prefect turned to see who was calling him only to see it was just the stupid herbivore boxer who seemed to have just come back from a mission.

A successful one it seems since the fool didn't seem injured or dying.

_Yet. _He added darkly.

"What." He deadpanned as he waited for the man to answer.

"I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU! TO THE EXTREME!" yelled out the boxer giving him a stupid grin making taking out his steel tonfas for an impending beating the man was going to have.

"It is undisciplined to yell, herbivore." He glared, ready to strike when the man assumed a serious expression.

"Sorry, I forgot. Anyway, I have something really important to show you." Ryohei remarked, assuming a serious air one could rarely see him sport unless the thing was an utmost importance.

"What is it?" he lowered his weapons, sensing the boxer's seriousness.

"Follow me." The boxer said turning his back as he proceeded to lead them into one of the Vongola castle's secret rooms.

"Lock the door." he said once they were in the room while he strode across the room and locked the lone window in the room.

"Why?" he raised a brow of question, the fool was basically ordering him around and he didn't like it one bit.

"Just do it." replied the boxer wearing a bright gleam in his eyes making Hibari question the true nature of his intentions.

"All right, I'll humor you." said the raven-haired man as he locked the door which seems to be the only exit since the window was closed.

"Good. Come closer." Said the other, he watched the Cloud approach wearing a mask of obvious impatience.

The ex-prefect neared, they were only at a distance of two feet from each other.

"Tell me before I decide to bite you to death." He demanded only for something in him to snap at the true purpose of all this.

"LOOK AT MY WATCH! IT'S GLOWING, TO THE EXTREME!" he gleefully exclaimed, showing Hibari the latest fashion of the glow-in-the-dark Rolex.

What happened next was too horrendous to describe.

Let's just say, Ryohei was lucky enough that he could still use his fingers to dial for a medic.

"Stupid herbivore." Muttered Hibari while he proceeded to return to the privacy of his own quarters away from the dying fool.

He was already reaching for the doorknob that would eventually open the threshold to his room when he paused.

"Awesome watch though."

**-end-**

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**A/N:** *hides* How was it? The only crack I did was Code Geass so I don't know if I did a good KHR crack. Anyway, thank you for reading, please leave a review, and tell me what you think. ^-^ I apologize if my crack drabbles weren't even funny.

**P.S.** I own nothing but my overly hyperactive imagination. I don't own the jokes either I just got it from my idiotic sister who seem to find pleasure in annoying me to sheer insanity.


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